There is no need to answer this, but I just wanted to let you know you are so, so very appreciated. Just answering some questions may not seem like a big deal to some, but for others someone like you just taking time to listen can do an entire world of good. I just wanted to let you know that YOU and everything you do is appreciated and worthwhile, despite the people that bring you down from time to time. I wish you all the love and happiness.
Anonymous
Thank you so much ;u; I know I don’t have a whole lot of time to spare to answer questions, but it means a lot to know I’m still helping somehow when I do.
This is a more school related problem I have, if you don't mind that is. My English for my next semester (After mid-terms) seems to not like me much, due to the glances she gives me whenever I hang around with my friend (who's in her homeroom) because I have a bad habit of swearing. REALLY LOUDLY. And at the wrong place at times. So I'm worried that it might affect how things will go when I'm in her class. Do you have any advice for a potty-mouth fourteen year old like me?
Anonymous
Easy, clean up your pottymouth in school! You can swear all you like in front of your friends when school’s out or at home. A little class in front of your teachers never hurt anyone (or their grades…)
I-i think I may be falling in love with my friend. I noticed this a few weeks back when I started to find her attractive. We have been super awesome friends for four years. She connects with me and just plain perfect. When I realized that my soulmate has been in front of me this entire time, I got scared. I mean, She is very irritable and does not take news like this lightly. And If she is not interested, I don't want to ruin our friendship. What do I do!?
Anonymous
You gotta approach stuff like this carefully, since it IS a long-term friendship and you don’t want to lose that.
I think you should let her know how you feel, but don’t make her feel cornered. Be sure to let her know that if she is not interested, you are totally cool with going back to how things normally are and acting like your talk never happened (she won’t like the idea of hurting your feelings if she turns you down, so be extra reassuring that you are OK with any answer). But definitely let her know you are curious of what she thinks!
Just be casual about it, be chill, try and treat it like a normal conversation, as hard as it sounds. Just kind of bring it up like “hey, so I was thinking… I think we go really well together, and we get along great. I can’t help wondering what it’d be like if we dated, maybe we’d hit it off?”
It makes it much easier for both parties to recover if the outcome isn’t necessarily favorable when you don’t make a big deal out of it, and give her an out if she needs one so she doesn’t stress.
I wish you good luck! I’m rooting for ya :)
Kylee, a couple months ago I asked for advice about seeking therapy and and how to bring it up with my parents. And I want to thank you for the advice you gave me. It took me a couple months to gather the courage, but yesterday during a long car trip with my mother, I brought it up. It was the first time I really let my mother know of the extent of the damage that was done to me, as she only knew what the school and counselors told her, and she gladly accepted the idea of seeking a therapist.
Anonymous
I’m so glad you worked up the courage! You should be very proud of yourself for being brave and seeking help. Things will start getting better from now on.
That was me just now about the sexuality issues there. I know to wait until I'm absolutely certain or that could cause a lot of problems, but what about when I get there? I can't help but worry about the future. What if I am and they don't want me around anymore? I don't think you've picked up on this, but I also have really low self esteem...
Anonymous
It’s ok. This can be a big deal to some people, and it’s okay to be nervous. Sometimes people get more mature about the subject of sexuality as they grow older, some don’t… I know I did.
You might choose to wait until your friends have grown up a bit, but if not, well, your REAL friends won’t give you crap for it. If they show signs of being mean to you, let them know you’re completely serious and that they should respect you, or you’ll need to cut them off. That should get he message across. And if they continue to be rude, then they’re not the kind of pals you probably want to keep.
Dear Kylee, I'm having questions about my sexuality. I do like guys, as I am a girl, but I seem to be attracted to women as well. I'm not sure if I'm bi or not, and I'm becoming really stressed about it. What if my best friends tease me? I know, I know, "If they're really your friends they won't", but they just like to poke fun about everything. EVERYTHING. I need help knowing what I am or not, and I know you can't tell me, but it'd be a big help if you could give me some honest advice. Thanks.
Anonymous
My advice on this would be to reflect on it a bit more before saying anything.
Some people go through long stages like this where they’re not QUITE sure where their orientation lies. Until then, you don’t have to share this with anybody. Sexual preference can be as private as you prefer it to be. And I definitely recommend keeping it private at LEAST until you feel more certain—you don’t need to stress about letting your friends know while you’re still confused.
Kylee, this isn't exactly asking for advice, but lately I've been questioning something and was wondering if you, being much older and wiser, might be able to give me an answer. It seems that many, if not a large majority of teenagers go through a period of depression, myself included, ranging from mild to severe. What do you think it is about the teenage years that does this? Do you think there is a way of avoiding it?
Anonymous
I honestly don’t think there is any avoiding it. All there is are ways to cope with it. Fortunately, you can always find support in friends, family, teachers and therapists/doctors. It DOES get better.
Mama Kylee, I need some advice. Whenever I get into depressive moods, I have the tendency (almost a compulsion) to do things that make me feel worse. Like, I'll start listening to sad music or reading fanfiction with depressive/suicidal characters. As soon I realize I'm doing it, I'm already so down that I can't really bring myself back up again. Do you have any advice on how to curb my self-sabotage?
Anonymous
In my personal opinion, it’s not that you’re trying to make yourself feel worse so much as you’re just trying to vent those emotions. It’s perfectly okay to do gravitate toward sad, grim things when you feel depressed, and it’s cathartic for many people.
Kylee, I am currently at a complete loss as to what I should do. I've known for a while that a very close friend of mine was depressed, but I've recently discovered that it is so much worse than I thought, that she's even been cutting. I'm doing my best to be there for her but more than anything I want to get her help. The problem is that she despises her parents and I can't convince her to visit the school counselor who I know would help. Please tell me what to do. I am so scared for her.
Anonymous
It shouldn’t matter if she despises her parents or not, this is a matter of safety and you NEED to inform them. If you’re scared or confused about how to handle it, ask your parents or go to the school counselor yourself to get their advice on how to proceed. You might make your friend angry, but her safety comes first, and later on she might thank you for it.
