Hello there Kylee :3
I really apologise if this carries on over two posts, I have quite a bit to say ^_^’ Firstly, I don’t know if you remember me but back in December of 11, you were hosting a livestream promoting your new album. It was so lovely to be a part of that stream because the next day I had to attend a funeral, and you spoke to me at that livestream and wished me luck and support :’3 That really cheered me up, and basically…
I’m writing this to say that 10 months afterwards I have been able to live through my bereavement, because although those months were definitely dark for me, I remembered what you said to me, and got help for myself by seeing a therapist, and I am now living normally again <3 So in short, all I’m saying is thank you, thank you so so much for giving me that support I needed, especially when it’s from one of my favourite artists :’3 Thank you so much, Kylee~!-starryeyesstarryskies
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I do remember you! I’m so glad to hear you’re doing ok. No matter how horrible the loss or the pain, you can survive it. Humans are so resilient. Keep up the good work taking care of yourself, and thanks for the follow up! <3
Kylee, I'm extremely upset with myself. I have never been timid or shy in school, and never afraid of speaking up in front of people. However, ever since school started this year, if ever I get called on or singled out by a teacher, my face flushes red and I can't form a coherent sentence. I don't know how or why this is happening, what do you think I should do?
Dude, being singled out is tough, I struggled with that a ton, especially in middle school. Don’t be upset with yourself! These things just take practice and time.
When you’re in your teens, it’s so, so easy to be paranoid about messing up and looking stupid if you stammer or give a wrong answer. You need to remind yourself that the teachers think NOTHING of it, and even if any of your peers do, it’ll be forgotten by the time class is out.
I’ll give you a little motto to remember in these instances: Dare to suck! It’s ok to be nervous and stumble. Many of your classmates are struggling with the same problem! And you probably can’t even tell it’s happening. It’s the same in your situation—it’s likely you’re overthinking it and nobody even notices anything is wrong with you!
It’s hard, I know, but over time you learn that making mistakes and being nervous is really no big deal at all, and in time those butterflies in your stomach will go away.
Feeling suicidal? Can’t talk on phones?
Hello Miss Kylee, for a long time I've always had a crippling low self-esteem. You see, I'm not the prettiest, smartest, talented or the nicest person really and I'm scared that my friends will all leave me because of it. One of them even told me that she wanted to hit me for my lacking of common-sense! I wanted to talk to someone, but I always say to myself "They've been through worse, don't bother them with your stupid problems, dumb bitch". Can you help me? I really needed to tell someone.
We all worry about how we come across to other people, especially people we care about. Usually we worry about it way more than they do! Maybe that comment has haunted you, but they likely forgot about it the next day.
The thing is, nobody is a perfect person, and no one expects you to be. If you make a mistake and apologize accordingly, there should be no lasting issue!
No one expects you to know better just because other people throughout history have learned to know better from their own experiences. Each person needs to learn from their own mistakes, you shouldn’t feel stupid! Things happen. We’re human. We may mess up, but real friends understand and get over it, and you will too :)
Most importantly, you have to learn to forgive yourself for being flawed. If you stumble and fall, get back up again and leave it behind—you’ll know how to handle it better next time! In the long run, you might not remember it even happened.
Mama Kylee, there was an incident that happened quite a few months ago, and everyone said how I feel about it would fade with time, but it's been around 8 months and I still feel terribly sad whenever it crosses my mind, which is nearly every day. And I face crippling grief whenever I am am near the person involved in the incident. Do you think it would be appropriate for me to seek out professional help? And if so, how can I go about bringing up the topic with my parents?
After a traumatic event, it’s perfectly okay to want to seek help or someone to talk to. Many people seek therapy for various kinds of distress :) So it shouldn’t have to be devastating to bring up to your folks.
Tell them you haven’t really healed and that your depression is pretty crippling, and that for your own health you’d like to look into undergoing therapy. I did the exact same thing! It’s good that you’re seeking help for your own health. Discuss it with your parents, see if they think that it’s the right way to go. :) Don’t be afraid, your health is important to your folks!
Kylee, there are a bunch of very guys at my school who are really big jerks. They are racist and sexist and homophobic and neo-Nazi and it's really really horrible. They cant be disciplined. They don't respect any opinion not their own. My problem is that i don't know if i can still be the bigger person around them any more. i just get SO ANGRY. I realized today that i had my hands clenched around my book and was ready to swing at them, and i'm a pacifist. how do you deal with oceans of rage?
Those sorts of situations are tough, especially when there’s nothing you can do but sit and watch other people act like intolerant morons.
If they continue their behaviors, they’re going to have a lot of trouble being accepted by society once they go out into the world. People who are filled with hate and are ignorant don’t do very well in the adult world.
They will either learn from their mistakes as time goes on or suffer the consequences, and they will get theirs. You can take comfort in that knowledge. You are already the better person by taking the high road and ignoring them!
In fact, ignoring them is the best way to handle this as a whole, since it could also simply be a case of these chuckleheads trying to draw attention to themselves. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
Hey Kylee, I don't know if you have any experience with this, but lately, I've been thinking about my gender. Some of my friends are bigender, and when thinking about it, I've realized that it sounds pretty nice actually, to identify as both. I myself have never had a problem with being female, and people have often mistaken me for being male, which I also had no problem with. The thing is, my family isn't accepting and I have no idea what my gf will think, and i don't know what to do anymore.
I suppose you need to think about how important it is to YOU to identify as bigender. If it sounds accurate but you don’t really care either way if you should label it that way or not, you may choose not to bother with it to save everyone the confusion (since you sound like you’re sort of on the fence about this).
But if it is important to you that your friends and family know you as bigender, if this is what you truly want to label yourself as for the rest of your life, then you have every right to tell your family and gf that this is what you are! Let them know you’d appreciate that they at least respect it, even if they don’t necessarily agree with it.
Miss Kylee, I've always love to draw. I'm still quite young so I still have a long way way to go. But lately, two boys I have all my classes w/ have been teasing me about my art. I would draw in class & they would criticize everything I do. They think they're much better. They even steal my sketchbook and draw over & write horriable things inside. I just want to ask, how deal with it? The funny thing is that I've never seen them draw anything more complex than a stick-figure with hair on it.
I used to have this happen all the time in middle school. Sometimes kids are just jerks for no real reason. If they’re actually defacing YOUR property without your permission, however, that’s a real problem, and you should tell a teacher when it happens.
It’s much better to be a tattler than to let them boss you around and ruin your drawings and BULLY YOU! Yes, this qualifies as bullying, especially if they’re writing mean things in your sketchbook. Get a teacher to tell them to cut it out, it’s not funny or okay at all. These guys will grow up in a few years and realize they were acting like total jerks, but for now you need to stand up for yourself!
Mama Kylee, I have a problem that is probably slightly less urgent than most on here. During the school year, I drew a lot in the middle of classes and actually had fun with it despite the restricted amount of time I had to do so! But now, it is summer and I've barely touched a pencil, let alone draw anything. The minute I try to go back to art, I feel so pressured by a plethora of great artists and start critiquing myself to a point of artistic anxiety. Do you have any remedies for this?
It’s a well-known fact that when artists compare themselves to other artists, we can get really depressed and discouraged about our work! Everyone starts somewhere, and it takes a long time to develop skills it takes to create some of the fabulous works you might see on the internet. Those artists have been at it for years and years!
You gotta give yourself time and patience, and try not to compare yourself with artists who have been drawing their whole lives—it’s like comparing apples to oranges, and it’ll only upset you! You can get there one day, but don’t put any pressure on yourself to hurry. There is no time limit on developing a skill :)
Hey Kylee, I’m only ok at one thing in life and that is art. But sadly I haven’t been getting any better for the past 4 years. I never leave the house because I am agoraphobic and autistic. I have been told that I can sell my art at conventions. The idea sounds fun but also completely and utterly terrifying for me, the thought makes me feel very sick. So I was planning on renting a booth at a convention that takes place close to where I live.
My boyfriend and his friends offered to help me with this because they know how I am with people of the ‘outside’. But I really don’t think I can sell my art because I’m not popular on the internet like so many other people. Nor am I good at even speaking to people, period. I’m just scared, I’m not sure what to do at this point. I don’t really get support from anyone but my boyfriend (none from my family because they ruled that I’m not a part of their family anymore because they all consist of doctors and such so I’m apparently some form of abomination)
Point being. I don’t know what to do, I’m too scared to fail and end up wasting what little money I have. I’m terrified of the people and it’s impossible for me to look people in the eye without feeling like I’m about to throw up or have a panic attack. I’m afraid if I can’t look people in the eye and end up just doodling, people will just pass my table and not really take a look at my art. What do I do? I could really use your help Mama..
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Having had a lot of experience with people suffering from autism, I know how scary this must be for you. But if there were ever a great opportunity to help you dip your toes into a social environment, a con is a GREAT place to start due to so many people of similar interests and personalities gathering in the same place. You would be surprised how friendly people are at conventions and how easily artwork can sell, no matter what the skill level! There are often plenty of folks wandering around who want to see their OCs drawn by lots of different artists in order to see them in many varying styles, for instance.
I think giving this convention a shot would be a great experience for you and help you ease into social interactions a little. But you don’t have to do it alone—you can enlist in the aid of your boyfriend and his friends to help you sell at your booth! Lots of artists alley artists have helpers who to handle the face-to-face interactions and the actual money handling. You could just sit and draw at your table, and you wouldn’t HAVE to speak to anyone if you didn’t feel like you could handle it.
Whether or not you should spend the money or not is entirely your decision, but as far as your fears go? In my opinion, I think this would be a wonderful learning experience for you! :)